Don't Be a Dipshit
by Whackadoo
Summary: With all the teasing throughout season 12 of Dean's desire to use the grenade launcher, I decided to write one possible way it could go down...


"Hey boys. I brought the pickup by like you asked. What do you need it for?" She was met with silent finger tapping by Dean and an 'um' from Sam. "How'd your hunt go?" Mary looked from Sam to Dean as she walked into the kitchen. Sam was trying to hide a smile while Dean's jaw clenched and he looked like he could spit nails. "Boys?"

"I can't talk. Too busy." Dean practically ran from the room and out the door, avoiding eye contact as he passed her by.

She looked back at Sam with eyebrows raised.

"He's going to work on the car. Don't worry about him." Sam chuckled.

"What's going on with you two?"

Sam motioned to the seat that Dean had just vacated. "You got time for a story?"

"Hot damn. It's about time, man. We're sure, right?" Dean looked over at his brother for confirmation.

"100%. I saw them shifting." Sam pulled his laptop out and booted it up.

"And you did the thing?"

"Mmhmm." Sam nodded and brought up some sort of program on his computer. "Here we go. They're currently at the gas station down the road from the apartments I found them at." He pointed to a colored dot sitting on a map on his screen.

"I can't believe it took us three freaking weeks to figure out who the shifters were. Damn, I can't wait to gank the thieving, murdering bastards." Dean sat on one of the motel beds cleaning a few guns in preparation.

"Well we know they have to have some sort of home base. We watch them today and see where they settle down at tonight and then take them out." Sam leaned back in his chair, propped his feet up, and cracked open a beer.

"Wait. It took you boys three weeks to find a pair of shifters?" Mary asked.

"Not one of our better cases, I admit, but these guys were good. Unlike other shifters we've gone after, they never appeared on camera, never shed their skins anywhere where the evidence of the shift could be found... They also never stayed with one physical form for more than a day, two days tops. We were wandering the town thinking every person we passed could be them. Dean was going nuts."

"I can imagine. So how did you figure it out?"

"One day, Dean had gone back to the motel after lunch while I followed up with one of the victims."

"A living victim?"

"Not of who they shifted into. They would shift and then rob people. We've seen this same MO before. I was going to talk to one of the burglary victims. I entered the apartment complex and as I made my way up to her floor, I passed a door that was ajar. When I leaned in, I could hear whispering. I literally stumbled on them in the act. They never even knew I was there and I didn't want to take them on alone. I also needed to know where their home base was, in case they had any living captives, so when I spotted a pile of clothes, I grabbed a cell from the pile and activated it's gps. I stuck around to make sure one of them took it and then left."

"So... pure luck, then." Mary said, shaking her head in disbelief. Sam smiled and nodded, showing his dimples. He was enjoying telling this tale. "By all means, please continue."

"Okay, Dean, they're leaving the bar. This could be it." Sam leaned forward and Dean stood behind him looking over his shoulder. They followed the dot on the map as it headed out of town toward the coast. The car traveled through a heavily wooded area and then stopped. The dot sat there for a moment and then headed along the shore.

"They must be on foot." Dean observed.

The dot finally came to rest. Sam frowned, looking at it. "The coast there is pretty rocky. I bet they've holed up in a cave or something."

"Fabulous." Dean sarcastically remarked.

They waited for a while to make sure the dot wasn't going anywhere when, finally, Dean was done waiting. "Okay let's go."

They drove out to the spot on the map where they thought the shifters had parked and were rewarded with a large black SUV sitting in a clearing. Dean pulled up nearby and went around back to the trunk to gear up.

When Sam joined him, he was surprised to see him getting the grenade launcher out."Dean. Overkill, don't you think?"

"Damn it, Sammy. You know I've been itching to use this. We're out in the middle of nowhere. There's nobody around to hear and there's two of them. I'm just going in prepared."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He grabbed his own gear and they turned to find a clear trail leading down toward the shore.

"Wait. A grenade launcher!?" Mary interrupted.

"It's been in the trunk for as long as I can remember. Dean said Dad showed him how to fire it once, but it's been mothballed ever since. Dean has really been antsy to use it. Especially since the whole Hitler thing." Sam rolled his eyes and continued.

They followed the rocky shore in the gathering gloom and started to see a large rocky outcropping forming just ahead. As they got closer to it, they saw it was riddled with small caves.

"There." Dean pointed to one spot in particular where Sam could see faint light flickering within one of the caves.

They climbed up, pulled their weapons and crept came upon piles of looted belongings: cell phones, jewelry, wallets, etc. Further in were obvious signs of life: a fire, sleeping areas, clothing, and the like. There was a clattering sound up ahead and they picked up their pace. They came across a dead body that was still warm. Sharing a dismayed glance, they hurried forward. Finally they came to a homemade ladder leading up through a hole in the ceiling of the cave.

"Damn it." Dean held his gun on the hole, while Sam made his way up. Then Sam kept them covered while Dean came up. Once they were back topside they crouched down and scanned the area. They had come out on top of the rocky ledge. Looking down at the beach from where they came, Dean couldn't see anyone. Turning the other way, the forest was only about twenty yards away and thick.

"You hear that?" Sam whispered.

Dean cocked his head to the side and grinned. "Gotcha." He tucked his colt into the back of his pants and swung the grenade launcher forward, which had been slung over his shoulder. He took off into the woods in the direction they had heard the snapping twigs before Sam could say anything about his weapon of choice.

They tore through brush and tree branches, slowly gaining on their prey. Neither group was trying to remain silent anymore. They eventually broke out into a clearing where they spotted the two shifters trying to unlock a large SUV.

"Yes!" Dean brought up the grenade launcher, taking aim.

"Dean! Wait!" Sam called out trying to reach Dean before he shot the thing off.

"Little bro, I got this!" He squeezed the trigger and smiled at the satisfying hollow whump sound it made.

"Dean! No!" Sam grabbed his shoulder but it was too late.

Everything after that seemed to unfold in slow grenade slowly lobbed through the air, headed right for the side of the SUV. The shifters had since gained entry and had started the engine. Just as the grenade got close, they sped away, a rooster tail of dirt and sand shooting out behind them. As they pulled away, the grenade hit the ground where their vehicle had been and then rolled under the car parked behind them.

"Everything seemed to stop in time for a heart beat. Dean's eyes grew as big as saucers, he swore, and started running for his car. Sam tackled him to the ground, yelling something about a timed fuse and then it blew. The grenade had been just under the edge of the Impala, roughly between the front and back seats. The car lifted into the air and flipped away from the blast, landing with a loud crunch and squeak on it's roof.

They lay on the ground staring in shock.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Dean swore with a muffled grunt as he dropped his face into the dirt in dismay.

"I tried to stop you. I tried to tell you we had circled around while chasing them, but you were too gung-ho to use that damned thing!

"Before they could even get up from the ground, the SUV had returned long enough for the shifters to circle around and taunt them. They laughed and yelled from the windows, "Nice shot ya dip shit!"

Without even getting up, Dean shifted the grenade launcher just a hair under himself and shot it from the ground. When the SUV blew up in spectacular fashion Dean snorted. "Ha! Who's the dipshit now?!" He rolled over with a groan. "By the way, I don't recommend laying on a grenade launcher while firing it."

"Wait, wait, wait! Dean hit the Imapla?!" Mary jumped out of her seat without even waiting for Sam to answer and bolted for the garage. She ran up the steps and stopped short at the sight before her. Parts of the Impala lay in an organized chaos all over the garage and Baby, as Dean referred to her, was up on blocks. "What did you do?!"

Dean's head whipped around from where he sat and he jumped up and went to his mom. "I can fix her, Mom. Don't worry."

"Don't worry? Look at her!" She shoved past him and went over to what was left of the car, resting her hand on it.

"Mom, this isn't the first time I've re-built her."

"Isn't the first time? Isn't the first time?" She bent over huffing and puffing and possibly hyperventilating.

"Nah. Let's see... there was that time demons flung her through the air like a child's toy. Oh and that time she got T-boned by a semi. And just last year she was totaled in a tussle with a werepire." He smiled at the memory. "Go on, you know you want to say it..."

Mary smiled at her son with incredulous awe. "A werepire, huh?"

"Yes! There you go! Cool, huh? You could cut their heads off and they still kept going! Crazy right?""Dean sat back down and got back to the work he was doing while Mary sat nearby and listened as he regaled her with stories of Baby and how she had come through thick and thin for the boys. A warm smile touched her lips as she settled in and was just... there... with with her son, listening and watching.


End file.
